Big Progress

Hi There! Remember me?

I sure wish I would get here to write more often. It's not that I can't. It's more like "What the hell do I have to write about". My life is pretty much wash, rinse, and repeat and if it bores me, it must bore you.

Maybe after 4 and a half years, I've run out of things to say.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Me.
Run out of things to say.
Now that? Is funny.

Last night I read in a comment box that writing is something you have to do everyday. When you stop writing everyday, they say it is harder to come up with something to write. I'm still rolling that around in my brain. What you you think Internet?

I do have some news. I got a new camera, and the kitchen is almost complete. wooohoo!!!!! Let me tell you that living every woman's dream of not cooking for this past month has turned into a nightmare. A big, fat, artery choking, ass enlarging, carnival ride of take out. After a while, everything tastes the same. And makes my ass big. (OK! bigger...whatever)

BUT, look how gorgeous it is turning out to be...

Cabinets and counters are in.



Cabinets, ceramic tile back splash, and new microwave and stove.


Right after demo


Cabinets and crown molding in..

Almost finished, baseboards in, new fridge and dishwasher too.

Cabinets in...and evidence of my morning sta.rbucks run.

Almost done!!

New deep sink and granite counter top.

New built-in china cabinet. Love it



Only things left to do is finish the tile work, hook up appliances, put in ceiling fan and outlet covers and then, put my kitchen back together. whew. By Sunday, I should be able to show you all the finished product. Wheeeee!

Happy Friday loves.

Weekend In Pictures

Thank you all for the love you always supply when life throws tomatoes at my face. Life is, well tenuous, but it does go on. This was a great weekend. Here are the highlights...

Friday Night...

and lots of...

Up first was Lady Antebellum...They were really good.

Next up Miranda Lambert...She is a firecracker and was equally good

And then....oh. my. god. I would sooo do whatever this man wanted me too. He partied pretty hard here in Milwaukee. It's a safe bet to say that he was drunk by the end of the concert. He took his boots off and went barefoot through most of the set...my kinda guy.


Then came the 4th and here are some pool pictures..Tony

Tony & Grandma


Tony & Mommy


I hope your weekend was wonderful too.

And Maybe Not So Much

Have you ever felt like a fucking yo-yo?
Yeah, me too.

when the person that is suppose to love me
attacks my character
calls me names
threatens divorce
degrades me with razor sharp words...

I usually walk around
wringing my hands
tearing up
wondering
what i did wrong
and how to fix it.

today, (actually last night) I decided that sometimes?
it's really not mine to fix.

I'm done
trying to smooth things over
allowing you to act like it never happened
making excuses because you're
misunderstood
stressed
over worked
over tired

I'm also done
talking myself into the
you didn't mean it
you just speak first and think later
biting my tongue
not standing up for what is right

doing so doesn't make it better or fixed.

it does makes me a
doormat
scapegoat
easy target
and that? is my fault because I allow it

why do I seem to allow/tolerate this behavior?
maybe being crazy all those years
made me blind to the crazy I seem to attract

maybe being so abused makes me think
oh, it's not that bad
it could, and has, been so much worse
I don't know
and could probably come up with a million more excuses

what I do know is that I cannot will not allow anyone to talk or treat me like that ever again P.E.R.I.O.D.

I refuse to
run
whimper
cry
or soak in a bathtub of self pity.

I love you, but
I will not
be chased from my home
let you mind fuck me
make nice just because it isn't worth it

it is worth it
I'm worth it

I am stronger than you think I am
I am healthier than I have ever been
I like who I am and
finally
love myself enough
to not allow you or anyone else to manipulate me
ever again

I want this to work
who the fuck wants to be a
three-time-loser

but not at the expense of my
mind
self worth
body
soul

so, figure it out
get some help
talk to a counselor

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
to ensure this never happens again

I need
a real apology
you to acknowledge this is your junk to work out
to see you taking measures
to help/fix yourself

This isn't a threat
but you are killing
my love
our relationship
our commitment

when it's dead, it's dead
there will be no going back

and if that is so
well, it is what it is
and needs to end

time is running out

Good Times

Friday night Hubby, kids & I went to Summerfest . The Count.ing Crow.es opened the show, and they were mediocre. If I could give them any advise, it would be for lead singer Ad.am Duri.tz.

DUDE, I love "Big Yel.low Taxi", "Mr. Jo.nes", "Ro.und Here", and "A Long Dec.ember" as much as anyone. I even cut you some slack for forgetting the lyrics, stopping, then laughing into the microphone telling the band and audience you messed up and would start over. But twice? Don't you watch Ameri.can Id.ol? NEVER stop and ask to start over and NEVER EVER do it twice in the same show. Maybe that's why you're still an opening act instead of a headliner. Just sayin'

On the other hand, Kei.th Urban kicked ass. He sounded great, looked great, and puts on a hell of a show. I love, love, love his very cool changing color light-up guitar. I snapped 1 damn phone photo before I dropped my phone, thus rendering it useless for the rest of the evening.

Note to self: Never dance, hold a beer, a lighter, and a lit cigarette while trying to take a phone picture. When it all starts to go bad, you will always drop the phone because dropping the beer is NOT an option. And, cigarettes cost more than my car payment so they are too expensive to carelessly waste. Yes, we can smoke in the amphitheater because it is an open air venue. That is one good thing about Wisconsin, smokers still have some rights.

Other than the phone fiasco, we really had a great time. Here is the one picture I did take. Hubby actually got pictures of his face, but I kinda like this view.


I can't wait to see Kenn.y Che.sney on Friday night. I WILL have better pictures of him, if it kills me.

Happy Monday

Here is my fav. Keith Urban song "Rain.ing on Sunday". This was taken live in Chicago in May of this year. Enjoy!

Pray that it's raining on Sunday
Stormin' like crazy
We'll hide under the covers all afternoon
Baby whatever comes Monday
Can take care of itself
'Cause we got better things that we could do
When it's raining on Sunday